I made my dad cry again

Back in the day, I remembered I had this one car with manual transmission; it was one cool car but I was a pretty demanding dude at that time and I made my dad cried, though not directly.

I was scared of driving a manual transmissioned car, cos whenever I pressed on the gas pedal, whilst my left foot on the clutch, the car wont move and I was nervous (well the fact that the car wont move was because my pressed the clutch so hard and whenever I tried to pull my feet, I was like jerking my feet off and the car would die lol ). I tried many times but it just wont work, and my dad was a nosy old man. He kept of saying "you gotta have balance between those feets cos you aint a pro yet" "you must improve your steering technique" blah blah and I didnt say anyting whenever he threw me all those advices and tips instead I childishly held a grudge against him.

It was pretty embarrasing for a guy at my age 22 to have that kind of notion; hate someone who gave advices. And then there was this one time, my dad picked me up from the gym cos i had no car and he continued with his advices "you gotta relax cos you aint a pro yet" and suddenly I felt the urge to speak up my mind and I said "dad, I dont think im gonna drive manual transmissioned car for the rest of my life. Its difficult and I wasted my life just trying to improve it., I wanna buy a automatic one" I thought what I said was ok but I didnt know my dad would feel hurt by my words.

Dad: " why did you buy this car back in the day then?"
Me: "I didnt know anything about car cos you made me anti-social and blinded from these information about cars and that made me indecisive on choosing the right one"
Dad: *silence for a minute then he continued " well, if thats the case, trading our Kijang car is the only way.

I was happy at first cos that also means Im gonna have a new car.

but.

My ego sets in (psychologically speaking)

Ego: "dude, think about the consequences of buying the new car. The bad neighbour who always noisy whenenver your family has a new car cos you only have 3 members in your family but 4-5 cars, they would think negatively about you. Plus, you still have the Pichanto which is manual,. Try to consider it"



My ego made me think of the good and bad thing about my decision. Then I told my dad that its better to fix the pichanto cos buying a new car would cause more problems. I wanna know the exact price of the fixation charge but he didnt know cos I wanna use my allowance. Plus i felt bad whenever he said "trade my old kijang" cos his voice changed and it seeemed like he's crying from the inside.


I understand why, cos that kijang has been with us since I was in Primary 4. Now im a 4th year student in my local university so i thought that its unwise of selling our Kijang car that always brings nostalgic stories back when I was a kid.


I dunno what should I do. So i thought maybe im gonna improve my Rio car manual transmission.


I can do this.